Without Control
by RocketJess
Summary: Well, I don't think I can summarise without giving it away, but it involves Misty and it's VERY dark... (UPDATE - PART 4 IS UP!)
1. The Things That Words Can't Say... (Ash...

Okay. This is part 1 of a rather dark, Gakishippy series I'm working on. (TR ain't in it, though). Here goes.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pokémon, Ash, Misty, Pikachu, Togepi, Brock, Tracey or anything else in the Pokéverse. The people who DO own it are utterly rich and I am very poor so PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't sue me!  
  
The Things That Words Can't Say  
  
I sat up in bed and looked around the room. Tracey's bed was empty, and since his sketchbook had also gone from where he'd left it the night before, I guessed he'd gone out early to do some drawing. Brock was still in bed, snoring loudly. Misty was also asleep, although unlike Brock, she was quiet.  
I couldn't help looking at Misty for a while. She was so beautiful when she was asleep. Actually, she was so beautiful all the time.  
"Misty…" I whispered softly to myself. Then I realised. She was too still, too silent… then I realised that she wasn't breathing. My heart began to beat faster. I quickly got out of my own bed and went over to hers. I tried to wake her up, with no response. I put my hand on her wrist to check for her pulse, but quickly drew it away. Her hand was cold… too cold for her to even possibly be still alive…  
"MISTY!" I screamed, before breaking into tears. I stayed there for a while, kneeling on the floor, my arms resting on Misty's bed… the pain was so terrible. It was like I'd been torn apart. Togepi woke up, having been disturbed by my scream.  
"Toge? Toge toge?" she asked, shaking Misty gently.  
"I'm sorry, Togepi," I said, quietly, "Mummy's not ever going to wake up…"  
"Toge… BRIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" she screamed, clinging to Misty. But I knew that Misty wasn't really there… just the body that once was hers.  
"Misty… why didn't I ever tell you the way I felt? Why didn't I ever say I loved you?" I asked her, even though I knew she couldn't hear. I felt Pikachu beside me.  
"Pikapi?" he asked.  
"She's gone, Pikachu. Gone forever." I whispered, to myself as much as to Pikachu. He moved closer to me, his cheeks crackling faintly with electricity. By now, I had learnt this was simply his way of showing that he understood. I reached down and stroked him gently, but it was little comfort. One of the most important people in my life – perhaps the most important – was gone, leaving a huge hole inside me, one that nothing could ever mend. I had loved her so much, more than I could even begin to describe, and she had never known. I looked at her lying there – so quiet, so peaceful… I leant over, and kissed her gently, even though she could never feel it. I hoped that, somewhere, her spirit was watching, and would finally know my feelings.  
"Goodbye, Misty," I whispered, "and wherever you are, peace be with you, my love…"  
  
  
And, if you're wondering just why that's so particularly dark, that's cuz you haven't read the rest of it yet... it gets a LOT darker... 


	2. From Bad To Worse (Tracey)

The plot darkens....  
  
Oh yeah, and this part is narrated by Tracey, not Ash. Each part has a different narrator.  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokémon. Don't sue me.  
  
  
Note to all non-Christians: Yes, I do briefly mention Christianity in here (and it's very brief), but I don't really think it's anything capable of offending anyone. Sorry if it does.  
  
  
  
  
  
From Bad To Worse  
  
  
  
I knew something was wrong when I returned to the motel to find several police cars parked out the front. Ash and Brock came up to me. Ash looked like he'd been crying.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked, worried.  
  
"It's Misty… she… she…" Ash began, but burst into tears before he was able to finish.  
  
"Misty's dead. Nobody's sure how. The police are investigating it." Brock explained. He sounded like he was trying to stop himself from crying too.  
  
I was unable to speak.  
  
  
  
Ash seemed unable to cope with Misty's death. At her funeral, when it was his turn to speak, he had barely begun when he broke into tears and had to stop. He became even worse over the next few weeks. He was quiet and antisocial, and no longer seemed the bright, enthusiastic aspiring Master he had been before. Thinking that he might need a break and a chance to relax, I convinced him to come back to the Orange Islands for a holiday. Brock chose not to come.  
  
After a few days, it was very clear that it wasn't helping. He was still as withdrawn as usual. Often he'd just sit on the beach, staring at the ocean. The worst was yet to come, though.  
  
One night, Ash had decided to go up to his room earlier than usual. Thinking nothing of it, I stayed downstairs. However, when I went up to my room about half an hour later, I was terrified at what I found.  
  
Ash was half-lying, half-sitting on his bed; slumped against the wall, blood trickling from a wound in his chest. The knife was still in his hand. Pikachu was beside him, crying softly. It glanced towards me. In its eyes was a look of utter hopelessness and despair. I felt the same way. I rushed over to him.  
  
"Ash! Ash! Oh, God, why'd you do this?" I exclaimed, clutching his hand. Ash's eyes flickered open.  
  
"I… I'm sorry, Trace. I had to. I can't bear it without… without her…"  
  
"But you didn't have to do this…"  
  
"Perhaps… but it's too late now… just, just pray for me – that whatever happens, wherever I find myself in the Next World – that I'll be wherever Misty is… goodbye, Tracey, Pikachu, I'm sorry…"  
  
And he was gone. I stayed there for a few minutes, not sure what to do, unable to speak or move. I had already lost one of my two closest friends, and now I had just lost the other. Eventually I got up and rushed out, looking for a hotel employee or someone. I finally found one.  
  
"Please, miss, you've got to help me!" I asked, frantic.  
  
"What is it… oh, God, what's happened? You've got blood on your hands!" she exclaimed.  
  
"My friend… he… he committed suicide. In our hotel room. I just came in and he was lying there and it was terrible…"  
  
The lady looked as worried as I felt. Almost. She was trying to control herself.  
  
"Calm down. You've had an awful shock. We'll… we'll call an ambulance or something…"  
  
"It's too late for him. He's gone. And I don't think he wants to come back, either." I mumbled.  
  
"We'll have to call the police, though. Follow me." she instructed. It wasn't long before, once again, I was listening to the sound of sirens, and facing a questioning from the police.  
  
  
  
Ash's funeral was held back in Pallet Town. Despite his family being Christian, and therefore the funeral being to the tone of hope and of God's love and returning home, I found no consolation in any of it. My best friends were gone. I'd never see them again.  
  
Afterwards, Brock came up to me. He looked angry.  
  
"Okay. I can stop pretending to like you now. It was you, wasn't it?" he snapped.  
  
"What?" I asked, confused. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Yes you do. Admit it. You killed Ash and Misty. I know you did."  
  
"Have you gone crazy?"  
  
"Stop pretending you're innocent. All the evidence points to you. You were conveniently absent when Misty was found dead. Who's to say you didn't kill her, then go out so you'd have an alibi?"  
  
"But…" I began. Brock cut me off. He was shouting now.  
  
"And letting Ash go off on vacation with you was the biggest mistake I ever made. He knew, didn't he? And you had to get rid of him. So you murdered him, and made it look like suicide! You were found with blood on you!"  
  
"Stop accusing me! I did nothing! You're just blaming me with no reason! I'm just as horrified at all this as you are! Why would I want to kill them, anyway? They're my best friends!"  
  
Brock had a look of fury that I had never seen before.  
  
"Get away from me! Just take your pack of lies and go! I don't ever want to see you again!" he screamed at me.  
  
"Fine! If that's the way you feel, I don't plan on interfering." I answered, storming off.  
  
  
  
Now I'm alone again. I suppose I'll just go back to being a Pokémon Watcher, like I was before. But it won't be the same. It'll never be the same as it was before. Never.  
  
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So... am I good at writing dark stuff? Or should I just stick to happy-happy romance stories? Please review! 


	3. Truth Worse Than Lies (Pikachu)

Part 3, now - we're halfway through! Part 4 might not be up for a while, though. Procrastination is a very powerful force...  
  
DISCLAIMER: It ain't mine. Thankyou.  
  
  
  
  
Truth Worse Than Lies  
  
  
I don't understand. So much has changed in such a short time.  
  
It wasn't too long ago that everything was normal. Tracey had rejoined us, making a group of four, and we were travelling once again. Ash was trying to make it into his fourth league – the little-known Zenith League, only accessible to the greatest trainers. Everything was wonderful. Until one morning, when everything went wrong.  
  
I'm not sure what had happened, but Misty was dead. Nobody knew how it happened. Togepi and Ash were the worst affected.  
  
I didn't think it could get any worse. But it did. So much worse.  
  
Ash – my beloved Ash – killed himself. He missed Misty so much that he killed himself. I'd never realised it affected him so badly. I knew he'd liked Misty, but not to that point.  
  
After that, I began to understand how Ash had felt. It seemed like I was empty, that I was surrounded by darkness and couldn't get out.  
  
Two of our group were gone forever. I'd never see Ash again, or Misty.  
  
And then even the remnants of our group were shattered.  
  
Brock thought that Tracey had killed Ash and Misty. Tracey said it wasn't him – and it wasn't, I knew it wasn't. I'd seen Ash stab himself with the knife. Tracey wasn't even there when he did it. But I had no way of telling him that. I couldn't even speak his language. Okay, sure, sometimes I could play charades and get my point across, but I don't think I could manage that. Not that Brock would listen, the state of mind he was in.  
  
One day I found Togepi crying.  
  
"It's all my fault!" she wailed.  
  
"Shhhhh, don't cry." I said. "It's okay."  
  
"No is isn't. It's all my fault!" she insisted.  
  
"What is?" I asked. "What's your fault?"  
  
"Everything. Ash and Misty are dead, and Brock hates Tracey…" she sobbed, "and it's all my fault!"  
  
"Of course it's not." I told her. "You didn't do anything…"  
  
"I did!" she exclaimed. She looked up at me, her eyes full of tears…  
  
"I did it. I killed Misty."  
  
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Alright! We know who our mystery muderess is! But is Togepi REALLY evil, or is it all a mistake? Find out, NEXT TIME! 


	4. The One Least Likely (Togepi)

The One Least Likely

Okay, so I stopped procrastinating for long enough to get Part 4 written. Enjoy!

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The One Least Likely

It's all my fault.

First Misty – my own _mother_ – and then Ash.

They're dead.

And it's all my fault.

I didn't mean to. But I did.

It was all a bad dream, I thought. But it wasn't.

In my dream, something was chasing me. It was after me, trying to kill me. I had to stop it.

I called on all my power, and I blasted it as hard as I could. Again and again.

It vanished. Disintegrated into nothing.

I was safe.

At least I thought I was.

When I woke up in the morning I found out just how wrong I was.

Mummy wasn't breathing. Ash said she'd never wake up. It was then that I realised what I had done.

I had killed her. Somehow when I killed the monster in my dream, my attack was in the real world too. And I had attacked my own mother, and killed her.

And it didn't end there. Ash and Tracey went away for a while. Ash never came back. He was dead too, because he wanted to be with Mummy. He'd loved her. I knew that.

Brock thought Tracey killed Ash. Now he hates Tracey.

Pikachu – my adopted brother – found out last week. I think he's refusing to believe it…

All of it's my fault. If Mummy hadn't died, none of the other things would have happened.

I can't live with this guilt any more.

I look down. The ground is so far below…

I jump.

Down… down… it's only a few seconds, probably, but it feels like hours…

Perhaps I'll be with Mummy again now…

Goodbye everyone…

Please forgive me…

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Well, that's it for another part. The next part will be narrated by Brock, and will probably go for quite a bit longer than this one…

Please review! I'm just a strange little person with no life who's writing fanfiction when she should be doing homework, and getting reviews gives meaning to my otherwise pointless existence…


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